One of those days...

May 16, 2020

You know those days where you don’t feel super confident - maybe you’re just bloated, about to start your period, had a rough day, living through a pandemic 🤷‍♀️ no big deal, right?? - but you show up anyways with a smile on your face. 

 

You fake it till you make it. 

 

There are times when “faking it till you make it” can be unhealthy and damaging — it’s good to be honest with yourself and not fake your entire way through life — and there are also times you just have to take your crappy mood/your bad day/your insecurities/your bloated belly/your loathing self-talk/etc. and say “hey, we’re having a crappy day, we don’t feel great, but we’re going to show up anyways because this is just temporary. I'm not going to miss out on my life just because we feel like crap, mmmmkay??”

 

So you take your fear/crappy mood by the hand and you walk with it through your day with your head held high. By the end of the day, you may have forgotten you even started your morning with feeling like crap. 

 

Not all days are rainbows and butterflies. It’s okay to have a bad day. A bad week. A bad month!

 

But please don’t let that turn into your new life. You can and you will be able to pull yourself out of that rut and start again. There will be a new day and you get to choose how the rest of the story unfolds. Sometimes it just takes feeling like crap, but showing up regardless. 

And you keep showing up until you don’t feel like crap. 

 

The #quarantine15 is a real thing. Maybe it wasn’t 15lbs, maybe it was 0lbs or negative lbs, or maybe it was/is 100’s of lbs of stress and anxiety that’s showing up as bloat/fluff/breakouts/fatigue/headaches/tight pants... 

 

I want to remind you that IT IS OKAY and NORMAL to have a physical response to the massive amounts of stress, uncertainty, anxiety, etc. that the entire world is feeling and has been feeling for months. It’s okay. And if you weren’t affected at all - that’s okay, too 🖤 

 

It’s a new day and you have a new opportunity to love on yourself, forgive yourself, take care of yourself and move forward with confidence — knowing, that’s it’s OKAY to “fall” and feel like crap because you also know that you can start to make different choices that will turn that ship around when you’re ready. You will be fine. You can always start again. And again and again. Every single day. 

 

Just keep showing up. In my experience, I’ve never been able to pull myself out of a crappy mood by continuing to frown and fret. So fake a smile if you have to, get your body moving, surround yourself with good people, put on some good music and kick that sorry attitude to the curb 👊☀️💗

 

 

Here’s my personal story and why I’m sharing this particular photo: 

 

 

 

Last week I felt like complete crap. I felt bloated, puffy, incredibly emotional, my pants were tight, my hair was frizzy (okay, it’s still out of control 😆), I felt exhausted... It felt like 8 weeks worth of quarantine stress came crashing down and caught up with me in one day. 

 

I put on this outfit because I thought it would help cheer me up. I love these bright pants and my fun new tank!!!

Sometimes a cute outfit can make all difference in uplifting the mood. 

 

It did.. for a second, and then it had the complete opposite effect. No cute outfit was going to stop the crappy mood I was in that day. I started to let the stories in my head turn this bright fun outfit against me. After taking this pic I thought "nope! delete! not sharing THAT one!" (Come on, we've all been there.) Here's what started to go down in my head:

 

“I can’t wear these pants. It shows my “imperfections”. My tummy fat is squishing out the sides. My back fat is spilling over. And why do us women have this armpit fat?!? If I smile too big, I’ll have 3 chins 😫. I look like I’m 3 months pregnant!” (my son is 2 years old..)

 

(PS.. This kind of thinking is the perfect set up for falling victim to the mass body shaming filled marketing - that I hate so much - that is so prevalent in the fitness industry to sell you fad diets, ridiculous cardio programs, and bullshit detox teas and pills.)

 

When I type out my internal dialogue, I am shocked. Who is this person saying all these terrible things?? I would NEVER think or say these things about anyone I love. And if a friend or client came to me with these thoughts, what would I tell her?

 

I would tell her that her body or squish has NOTHING to do with her self worth.

 

I would tell her that I see her for the bright shining light that she is - that has nothing to do with the size of her waistline. 

 

I would tell her that she doesn’t need to go on a crash diet, start a crazy cardio program, or buy that detox tea.

 

I would tell her to give herself some grace.

 

Find some self love and change her perspective.

 

Start with ONE thing she can do right now to nourish herself and her body.

 

Then name off at least ONE thing she DOES love about herself/her body.

 

I haven’t spoken to myself like that in awhile. I’ve gotten pretty good - or at least I thought I had gotten good - at repelling that kind of negative self-talk and was pretty happy with where I was in my self-love & body acceptance journey. But the thing about life is: you are until you’re not. 

 

Sometimes we learn and relearn lessons over and over again. I’ve been here before. I’ve gotten myself out of ruts like this many times. So I knew I could do it again. 

 

Here’s what I did:

I let myself have a pity party. I got emotional and cried randomly for a few days. After a few days of some pretty epic self-loathing, I decided it was time to make some different choices, like: 

 

  •  Immediately stopping negative stories and replacing them with positive ones. 

 

  •  Smiling so big, I had 5 chins!!! And not giving a rats ass.

 

  • Looking in the mirror and instead of picking myself apart, I picked one thing I loved about my body - and celebrated the shit out of this beautiful vessel of love. 

 

  •  I listened to some really good, uplifting podcasts. 

 

  • Blasted my favorite music. Danced and moved my body just because. Sang along at the top of my lungs (while no one was in earshot, of course).

 

  • Took a social media break (biggest sigh of relief!!!! I highly recommend it!)

 

  • Had a really great workout with my favorite people. We're not meant to be isolated from each other. (and for me, that's been one of my biggest takeaways from quarantine: I NEED GOOD PEOPLE IN MY LIFE - and it's WHY I decided to open Iron Root in the first place. Fitness is my passion, but it doesn't mean much if I can't share it with others.)

 

In spite of my downer mood and just feeling like a pile of crap, I showed up anyway, and relentlessly kept showing up until one week later... 

 

I’m now writing a new and completely different story than the one I was telling myself last week. 

 

It’s SUCKS being in a self loathing rut. I’ve been there many many times. But what I have learned over the years is that it is normal and it won’t last forever IF you finally decide to pick yourself up and show up for yourself again and again. 

 

If you’re feeling like crap, please know that there is nothing wrong with you and you CAN turn that ship around  ⛵️☀️💕 with small, nourishing choices made out of self-love, not self-hate💗 

 

Keep showing up and doing your best to make the next best choice.

 

You can do this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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